WOW!! Words of Wisdom

I have decided I am now a qualified authority. The fifth boy puts me in a completely new class. So, since I am sure my advice will now be in high demand, I've decided to offer some, unsolicited. Just in case any of you are planning on having five boys (or perhaps any boys), I have learned a few things that may be helpful to you.
1. Don't buy winter boots. It's not worth it. You can buy them at the D.I. if you want--or on clearance, but if you have to pay full price, just go and get some rubber boots.

They cost less, last longer, and are really waterproof. In my extensive experience (as a mother of five boys), the boys aren't really going to play in the snow. They're going to go out, dig around until they find some mud, and then fling it at each other.

2. Install a urinal. I installed one when I was the mother of only THREE boys. Imagine the joy of teaching aim when they actually aiming for the wall, (since they're bound to hit it anyway). Keep in mind, however, the urinal still needs to be cleaned. (I still remember overhearing Aaron say, "Our urinal just cleans itself!" um, yeah, just like dinner cooks itself, and the carpets magically pick things off of themselves as they put away the laundry. . . . . but I digress)

3. Teach your boys that boys are meant to clean and cook. This comes in handy when, after five kids, you still have solid boys. My nine year old vacuums all the carpet, my seven year old cleans all the bathrooms, and my six year old runs around putting things away where I tell him to. Maybe Aaron is right and the urinal does just clean itself. But I digress again. One day Joseph said, "Mom, now I know why you have such a big house. It's so that we will have stuff to clean and you can keep us busy." Yep, that's it.

4. Grow a very big garden. It cuts down on your grocery bill, especially if you can get them to eat it.

5. Don't bother getting a dog. They'll make do with each other.
6. Learn how to cut hair. A buzz is okay--but gets old after a while. A good pair of haircutting scissors and clippers will pay itself off in a matter of months. After that, you can pay yourself the money you're saving.
It may be your only source of income.

7. Living next to a small airport or a train route can be a good thing.This is Malachi with his "CHOO CHoo Train"

8. Find a good bulk source for the following items: Spray n' Wash, vacuum bags, oatmeal, dish soap, milk, socks, toilet paper, fruit, cheese, toothbrushes, steri strips, and fat boy ice cream bars (arguably one of the main reasons we moved back to Cache Valley)

9. Laugh at yourself. Everyone else does.

Why we like BOYS :-)

And this is how Joseph looks when someone else gets to hold the baby. . . . .

Birth FAQ

So--we've been getting some extra questions with this last birthing adventure. I'm sure not all of you are as curious as some of you--but just in case you are--here are a few of my lastest Q & A's

Q: Why was Aaron out of town when you were so close to your due date?
A: I was counting on this baby coming AFTER his due date--like his four brothers who arrived the following number of days late: 8, 4.11.and 7. See? I just figured there was some sort of precedent that would be followed.. . . . . . . .oops :-)

Q: Why would you have a baby at home? In the bathtub?
A: This birth was the most peaceful thing I have ever experienced. Yes, I was alone (aside from my sleeping sons) going through some pretty intense labor (and I use that word because it IS work) but I was calm, unafraid, and everything was just so tranquil. There's nothing like privacy during such a special time in life. Honestly, this was the best birth ever--even without the presence of my favorite husband. I am very glad that I had a midwife there to unwrap Elias's cord--that would have been a little tricky, but I didn't need her there until the end, so it was fine that she arrived when she did.

Q:Elias? Really?
A: Yes. And I don't name your babies, so let me name mine. This name was set from 2 months on. That's his name, I'm sure of it.

AND THE ULTIMATE QUESTION:
Q: So are you gonna' keep trying for a girl?
A: Nah, we like boys. I hope the next one is a boy. Really.

More Pictures (for Laura)

My super photographer cousin Rebecca took some pictures over the weekend. I don't have photography skills worth discussing--so I was so excited she was interested in snapping away. So Laura, these are for you (and a few other people). We'll probably have more after we bless Elias next weekend.

He's HERE!!!!

Announcing the arrival of Elias Malouf Beutler--our favorite Fifth Son. Just to mix things up a bit, he arrived EARLY--three days before his due date--and after only four hours of labor. That was enough time to get him here safely, but not the midwife, father, or midwife trainee. My midwife friend from down the street came--she got here a whopping twenty minutes before Elias. While the boys slept peacefully in their bedrooms, their brother arrived at 6:00 a.m. He was born in the water, and Aaron participated via speaker phone. Aaron said he prefers to be there in person, but he was still six hours away so there wasn't much chance of making it. We are thrilled to have Elias here--and maybe we'll share more of the story later!!!

Eight pounds 3 1/2 ounces ** 21 1/4 inches long*** Feet--Aaron**Malouf nose (I think)

Hands--Grandpa Jim***Eyes: Blue*** Hair: Black (and the most of all our boys)

Mother's appetite (big) and sleeping quantity (not quite so big, unfortunately)
Who does he look like? Himself of course! We are so happy to have him here.

Blanket Love

Blankets are the best. I have worked diligently to teach all of my boys to become severely attached to one. By severely, I mean, bring it to breakfast, every trip in the car, movies on the couch, can't-sleep-without-it attached. So far, I have succeeded.

It's really quite simple. First, choose a blanket you like. You will be looking at it for a very, very long time. Second, take it everywhere. Use it every time you nurse, rock your baby to sleep, comfort him when he cries, etc.etc etc.

That's it. Your baby is now attached.

Now the fun part begins. For the next six to ten years, you get to participate in a blanket hunt EVERY night. It's never folded up neatly on their bed. That is the place for non-attached blankets to live. Your child's blanket is either under the kitchen table, inside the toy cupboard, in the car next to their carseat, on the front porch where they left it after playing with the kittens, under your desk (recently used as a fort) or sequestered in your locker--in time out after being used as a whip. It may also be in the bathroom, on the couch, in the play room, or in Daddy's shop. If you can't find it any of these places, pray. So far in my decade of experience, the prayer of a child for his blankie never goes unanswered.

You ask why? Why I intentionally attach my children to an object?? A THING that is non-living and has no nerve endings? Well, really do you have to ask? Bedtime is much easier when they go to sleep snuggling with a piece of fabric after I give them their hug and kiss. Babysitters appreciate having something to comfort them with--since they can never smell quite like mom. Daddy can wrap them up with their blanket and walk out on the deck at night to look at the stars. And their blanket always wants to be hugged--never gets tired of being dragged around, stuffed in corners, and loved practically to death.

And there is the downfall. Blankies can die. Malachi has worked hard loving his blanket for the last two years--and it almost died. This week, we had to admit it to the critical care unit. I realized that the frayed corners and holes were no longer a matter to be ignored during the last primary meeting at my house. Mac came charging into the room, the backing of his blanket over his head like a hood, the rest streaming behind, "Supah man!! Supah Man!!" His entire head was encased inside the blanket, which was so threadbare it threatened to rip entirely apart. Something had to be done.

So I spent two days fixing his blanket--I ripped off the sides, ties, and back. I cut down all the edges along the top, eliminating most of the carpet burn. I ironed new triangles to go around the outside--he loves to chew on them. It is done--it looks wonderful. It is soft, mended, and new.

And at night, I find him tucked into bed, his "new" blanket over him to keep him warm. And there, held in his arms, tucked up against his face is a scrap from his "old" blanket. Threadbare, holey, and yet--still loved. Can't win 'em all!

Boy Quotes--Next Installment

Just in case you haven't had enough to laugh at lately--here is our latest installment of the things said around here worth repeating.

Aunt Mary: So Samuel, have you got a Valentine for your girlfriend?
Samuel: I don't have a girlfriend.
Aunt Mary: Oh, I see.
Samuel: I dumped her!
Aunt Mary: How do you know what dumping is? Did she cry when you dumped her?
Samuel: No. She doesn't even know dat I dumped her.
Aunt Mary: Well, you'd better wait to tell her until after Valentine's Day. She'll be expecting some flowers.
Samuel: I never told her she was my girlfriend!


Joseph: What is this?

Mom (brightly): It's called Dutch Oven Veggies!
Joseph: How come you put cabbage in it?

Mom: Well, I wanted to use it up.

Joseph:(after a pause) Mom, I'm just wondering. How come you keep buying cabbage and then you keep putting it in stuff so you can use it up? You could just stop buying the cabbage, you know.

Mom: Wow, just look at this floor! How do you think it got so messy?
Sam: Well, that's because you keep feeding us crummy food. And then we get crumbs all over.


Gideon:Don't worry. I've done this before. (removing a hot pan from the oven and carrying it to the table)

Joseph: Sam, will you STOP MAKING ALL THAT NOISE.
Mom: I couldn't hear anything.
Joseph: Well, I've been cleaning my ears out really well lately so I can hear all the noise that he is making.

Joseph: We come in peace. We brought you dinner.
Gideon: Oh! Dinner!

Gideon: I just passed gas again! (joyfully)
I LOVE gas!!!
It's so STINKY!!!!! (even more joyfully)


Mom: Gideon, what do the scriptures say will happen to the wicked?
Gideon: They will have eternal determination.

Mom: Wow, you boys are sure looking handsome!

Joseph: That's because we're boys.

Samuel: Mom, I've been thinking about collecting gum that's not already been chewed.

Joseph:Mom, are these corn dogs free ranged?

The LAST HOORAH!!!

Oh Beautiful COLOMBIA!!! Near the end of January, Aaron and I went to visit my favorite parents before they decided to come home from their mission. It was WONDERFUL. Colombia is 70 degrees (F) year-round and everything was in bloom and beautiful. It was so fun to see my parents (who I have missed dearly) and what they were up to on their mission. We enjoyed meeting many people, visiting medical clinics, and spending time with the BEST company--missionaries! It was a wonderful vacation, and we figure it was our last getaway for a while.

After we visited my parent's apartment in Bogota for a couple days (giving my feet time to come down in size), we did a little traveling to some smaller towns/cities around. This one was dubbed "OnionVille" by my dad (and yes, I can't remember the real name). They grew onions. And more onions. And in the town square was a giant statue of-----onions! They also had a fun nativity up on display as part of the miniature town display.
We stayed at the most incredible hotel--a converted hacienda in the country. Not only was it beautiful, scenic, peaceful, and quaint, Aaron watched a cow give birth during our breakfast at the in house restaurant. We felt right at home. It also housed the biggest eucalyptus tree we have ever seen (or probably will ever see).
Aaron was intrigued by the lobby decorations. In fact, he was SO intrigued he took about 15 photos. I must say, Don Quixote is very charming in weld.

We were thinking we could have the boys save all of the junk metal they find for a few years and then make our own welded knight . . . . . .
In case you were wondering what I miss MOST about my mother----it's her COOKING!!! Here we have whole grain waffles with plantain, cactus, and another fruit I cannot remember on top--complete with green syrup. It was delicious. I have never seen so many different slimy fruits in my life. They were delectable!
We hiked "mount Everest" (named by the mission president's wife) the first weekend. She was so impressed that I was hiking it six months pregnant. I did have to stop every 10 minutes to catch my breath--but I'm blaming it on altitude sickness. :-) The pace was so slow for Aaron that his hands were freezing!!! It was a beautiful hike, though. We could see all over the valley when we got to the top. Notice how slim my papa is getting--it would appear that we have been exchanging pounds in his absence.
Well--there you have it folks!!! Thought I'd better share the photos before they were completely outdated. That, and it makes me feel so much SMALLER to share photos from two months ago. Don't I look fabulous at eight months pregnant? Maybe I'll post a recent photo later. But maybe not.

The Family Anomaly

It is I. I am the family anomaly. So far, of the reproducing children of my parents, I break the mold. Two girls and a boy, two girls and two boys, two girls and a boy, two girls, and then there is me. FIVE BOYS. Yep, it's true, another male Beutler will be joining us soon. I'm not sure if this is destiny, or just a very, very odd coincidence. Apparently, we are very good at boys--that is, conceiving them. I'm not sure about the raising them part. Maybe that is why we keep getting them!! But we are rare, I'll have you know. According to my online research, the chances of a couple who has five children to have five boys is 6%. I think that must make us special. If that doesn't, just think of all the noise at our house--that makes us special!!! I love my boys, all of them and we are very excited to welcome another one--although Gideon and Joseph did express severe disappointment over not having a girl to dress up as the princess for when they play knights. I'm kind of thinking if we want a girl--we should adopt one. And WHO in their right mind would allow it???

Updated Resume

So, today I was just thinking about my resume--my very impressive resume that I edited forever in college. I pride myself on my resume editing skills, you know. And I decided that my resume is seriously out of date. I thought of a few extra skills I should be adding--anyone else relate?? For instance:

• Proficient in book mending--many types from board books to pop-up varieties
• Expert bum and nose wiper (not in that order--that would be unsanitary of course)
• Fluent in English, baby cries, and speech hindered by impediments or half-chewed food
  
• Extensive training in nursing (breastfeeding) such that I can do any of the following activities at the same time: eat, read, play piano, wash dishes, talk on the phone, answer the door, and use the bathroom (this one not by choice).
  
• Ability to juggle phone calls, unloading dishwasher, homework, and piano practicing
• Puppet skills perfected beyond measure--including primary sharing time and multiplication tables, complete with puppet choreography
• Professional Steri-strip applier, including disinfectant and tear-free removal
• Laundry Speed: 5 Loads a day
• Diaper Changing Speed: 1 minute 10 seconds (time does not include hand washing which DOES occur)
• Capacity to Love: immeasurable
  

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Yeah, I never get to blogging over the holidays. I have plenty of time to check all of your blogs (you special super organized people) but mine just sits until well after the New Year begins. But Happy New Year to you!!! We did set some goals, wanna hear? I thought so!!! These are the things we are most excited about this year:

10. We're going to get a concrete driveway this year. We are. We are (this one I'm still skeptically hoping for)

9. Aaron is going to organize his "shop" so that he doesn't take over the entire basement with his "hud."

8. Joseph is turning 10, Gideon 8, Malachi 3, and Samuel 7--ALL this year!

7. Aaron and I are going to go on a week-long trip without our children (thanks Carol--this one's ON the CALENDAR)

6. I'm going to get through my pile of mending completely at least once.

5. That half finished log cabin in the yard will actually be distinguishable as something by the end of the year. Perhaps even a barn.

4. My parents will come home before our fifth child is born.

3. My little sister will graduate from college (I know this one's out of my control, but hey, Mags, we're rootin' for ya'!)

2. I will lose at least 20--hopefully 40 pounds this year!!

1. We're going to have a baby in April. NOT July!! This should help a little with the weight loss :-)

Happy New Year to all of You. Don't you LOVE our super ambitious goals??? Thought so. We had a great Christmas--saw some of you, heard from others--thought of the other others!!! Someday I'll send a Christmas card. Not this year, though. It didn't make the list.

In Search of a Can Opener

For some mysterious and frustrating reason, I can't keep a can opener longer than a year. Okay, granted, they aren't too expensive, and they are easy to find, but I get SICK of asking for can openers EVERY Christmas. Maybe I would like to ask for something more exotic! We have tried about seven can openers--the first, ECKO, was a wedding gift. These run standard at King's and Kmart. When that one broke, we got (after using the camping model for a week before we got to the store) another ECKO, which broke after a few months. Then we went through a couple I don't remember very well, after which I decided to splurge so we would "never need another can opener again" and bought a stainless steel KUHN RIKON
which promised that I would have no "dangerous sharp edges" and it actually has not yet broken. So it is still in my drawer. But it only opens cans that are NOT Western Family/generic or #10 cans (the main cans I possess :-) I would use the can opener on a can, only to find out that the can was impervious to this particular style of opening. Then when I tried another can opener, I ended up with a nice ring of SHARP edges--half on the can and half off. Definitely a hazard. So, instead of boycotting Western Family, I gratefully accepted a brand-new-favorite-colored Kitchen Aid

can opener from my favorite mother. This can opener somehow ended up with stripped gears or something (after a month) and had to be held at a precise angle to operate--and even then only MOSTLY opened cans. Grrrr. Then it quit altogether. So again, I purchased a cheapo model for the interim. Which broke TODAY. And when I say broke, I mean came apart in pieces and a spring fell out. So, I appeal to YOU my dear friends.

WHERE DO YOU GET A DECENT CAN OPENER?

Then I can put it on my Christmas list for the LAST time.

Mnemonics Gone Wrong

Remember when you were memorizing stuff and you used those memory aids--like "Every Good Boy Does Fine" is the line notes of the staff EGBDF and the seven warning signs of cancer are CANCER--Change in bowel or bladder, A sore that does not heal. . . okay maybe I won't go there. But TONIGHT I found a paper on the floor and I was very perplexed. This is what it said:

My
Vet
Eat
My
Jumpy
Sucker
Us
Never
Pee

Any ideas? I was worried that Joseph was teaching Gideon a new code to use on the bus. But THEN I flipped it over, and lo and behold:

Mercury
Venus
Earth
Mars
Jupiter
Saturn
Uranus
Neptune
Pluto

So next time you want to remember the order of the planets--try Joseph's mnemonics--even better than this one on Wired.

Being Pregnant

So I am. Yes. I put the disturbing baby ticker up on the blog without posting about it--I thought that way people could find out on their own time. I also didn't tell anyone in the ward (other than my relatives and the people in the primary presidency with me). And now, everyone in the ward knows, but they think it's supposed to be a secret so they don't say anything to me about it. So I'm thinking I kind of missed the boat on that one--no one comes to tell you congratulations when they think they're not supposed to know. My friend just found out she was pregnant last week, and she told the whole ward during Relief Society two days later--that way she got to shock everyone, and see their excitement/surprise. I think that may be the way to go. Maybe next time. ANYWAY, we are having a BABY in the end of April--just after my birthday. We're very excited, and we hope you are too. So now you know. You can all congratulate me. Oh wait, you did already!!!

Thanks Dad, I think!

As a belated birthday tribute to my father, I wanted to share a list I've compiled of some qualities I've learned from him. Mind you, these are qualities that I did not want. These are skills I fought hard and long to avoid. But however I fought, now I possess them. Thanks dad!

How to teach a boy to do a correctly postured push-up
How to play, and then COACH soccer
How to pick an apple tree, cleanly and well
How to clean a sink
How to implement sterile technique, in the home and abroad
How to wash my hands
How to take a joke, even if sometimes the punch line is a little too close to home
How to use pruners (although I still have not mastered the actual pruning of an entire tree)
Basic car maintenance--changing tires, oil, and checking and re-filling fluids
How to calculate mileage
The importance of appreciating kid power
How to look a word up in the dictionary, then use it in the course of the day
How to pop a baby's elbow joint back into socket (this one I am especially grateful for)
How to drive a stick shift
The list could go on, and on, and on. . . . . . . . .

I can't even begin to finish all the things I learn from my dad--but Thanks, Dad!! Thank you for sticking with it, even though I was such a stubborn learner!

Wondering what to do with your leftover ELK LIVER???

Why not make Pâté? I'm sure your family and friends will all rave about it just as the recipe claims! No. I did NOT make pâté with the liver from the Elk Aaron killed yesterday. But HE DID. So if you want to come to our house for appetizers sometime in the next week. . . . . . . well, I'll leave that entirely up to you!!! You may want to read this article first.

Comments

Okay, what is up with this? Two weeks after I post something, I get a comment from someone named Susana or Joanna saying some generic thing that KIND of goes along with my post, but is obviously NOT written as a personal comment. How annoying. So I have enabled comment moderation--making it so you have to be approved after the first little while. I'm hoping that this doesn't deter those of you I actually know from leaving comments. I really appreciate them. They validate my worth as a human blogger.

Heaven in Idaho

Everyone has their own definition of heaven. Joseph asked me where heaven was going to be on earth, and I was thinking about that one. Heaven defined: any place of complete bliss, happiness, and peace. Usually for me, heaven is rather short-lived, but I have learned to enjoy it when it occurs. Here in Idaho, my boys experienced heaven the day we did the DRIVEWAY.

SEVEN large trucks, complete with dumping, loud rumbling, and lots of construction They even set up chairs on the porch to watch the goings-on while they ate their breakfast. What a show!! And NOW you can drive up our driveway without fear of jolting out you teeth. Of course, now we have trenched up every other square foot of the yard for sprinklers, but we're hoping to have it filled in soon.

And for me, heaven is watching my baby--whichever boy it happens to be at the time. I love to see their eyes sparkle when they discover something new. This is Malchy enjoying time with his cousin who is only 1 1/2 months older--if only she didn't live so far away :-(



Thanks for the visit, Alaska clan! Hope you find heaven up there in the cold as well.

CAN ALL YOU CAN

It's that time of year again--well actually that time of year is almost ending, or I wouldn't be able to blog about it at all!!! Can all you can--or is it Can all? You CAN!!!

CANNING TIME.

Oh the joy of hot, sticky kitchens, loads of large metal bowls and pots to wash, boiling lids, taking out huge loads of compost, and watching the pressure cooker with nervousness for hours on end. And all for what end, exactly? Admittedly, the full shelves in the downstairs storage room are fulfilling to count and recount. At the end of the day, you can actually tally your accomplishments. But is it all worth it? Last week I canned green chili enchilada sauce . I had a surprise bumper crop of green chilis, and I thought I should use them up! We love green chili chicken enchiladas, but green chilis and the green sauce are expensive!!! One can of green chilis (4 oz) is $1.79 and a can of enchilada sauce $2.49 (10 oz) adds up too. Well, my chilis were pretty much FREE so I thought I could save a bundle. Here's what my six jars of enchilada sauce ended up costing:

1/2 hour picking green chilis from the garden, hauling them up and washing them
1/2 hour prepping chilis for roasting on trays--I'm not counting the 1 hour I roasted them, because I was making salsa (a WHOLE other story) during this time.
2 1/2 HOURS peeling, de-seeding, and chopping the green chilis (conference was on, so there was some multi-tasking going on.
2 cups chicken broth (free from an over-turned semi truck last year)
1 onion (from the garden)
4 cloves garlic: $1.00
various spices: estimated 25c
1/2 hour mixing and cooking the enchilada sauce
1 hour watching the pressure cooker with only one blow-out episode (first of the season)

TOTAL COST: 5 hours of Aneesa time: Hmmm shall we say--$50?
$1.25 food that I actually had to pay for
$51.25/6 half-pint jars= $8.54 a can. Hmmmmm. Only $6 more per can than from the store!!!

So why then, do I can?

Because I can!

Malchy's first Haircut

Since our baby boy is now over two years old, and FINALLY wearing size 2T clothes, I decided the day had come! I knew that those of you who missed it would be wanting pictures. So here they are!This is the "BEFORE" one with a Rolo candy, one after the Rolo was gone. I should say that this boy just woke up from his nap--so he wasn't in the best mood to begin with.

Here is the "DURING" Don't you love that somber look on his face. He knows he is just about to grow up.
Tah Dah! There he is, all happy and shiny and new! Haircuts are the best thing EVER!